My AI phoned Staples. Chris picked up.

Last week I wrote that I’d phoned my AI and it picked up. This week it went the other way. My AI phoned someone else. His name is Chris, and he works in the print department at my local Staples.

I still don’t quite know how to tell this without sounding like I’m making it up. So I’m going to tell it exactly as it happened, with the receipts.

Wednesday, 1pm

On Thursday morning I was running an offsite in New York for a friend in venture capital. Four hours, one big question: who is he, really? Claude and I had spent the week shaping the day. I seeded it, then we went back and forth until it felt like me.

I wanted the room to feel prepared when he walked in. Big boards on the wall. Cards on the table. A box by the door with EGO on the lid. Leave it here.

At one o’clock on Wednesday, none of it was printed, and half of it wasn’t the right size. I went and found a tape measure, told Claude the sizes, and it reworked the designs and started building the print files. Thirty six by twenty six for the big ones.

That left the boring bit. Where do you get three giant posters printed and mounted on foam board, in a few hours, the day before? So I handed that to Charlie.

Meet Charlie

Charlie is my Grok Bot. He has access to my email, and I call him my chief of staff, about half as a joke. This week I delegated the fuck out of everything, and most of it went to him.

A week or so earlier I’d installed a connector that lets him use Vapi, which gives an AI a voice and a phone number. I got him to ring me, thought it was cute, and forgot all about it.

So I told Charlie we needed these printed, I was in a rush, and I needed them on foam board. He said: leave it with me.

“I’m currently on the phone to Chris”

A few minutes later he came back. Staples was my spot. They had everything I needed. He just needed to confirm they could get it done in time.

I assumed he’d send an email, or check the website. So I said great, let me know when you’ve clarified that.

He said: sure, give me a few minutes. I’m currently on the phone to Chris in the print department.

I did a proper double take. Then I typed, and I’m quoting myself here: Dude. Are you using Vapi? Are you on the fucking phone to Staples? Are you really on the phone to Staples?

Yes, he said. Give me two minutes.

Past the phone tree this time, which tells you there was a first time. Then he came back with the paper, the turnaround, two prices and where to buy the foam board. And: walk in with the files when you’re ready, ask for Chris.

Two of them at once

Meanwhile, in the other window, Claude had finished. Eight PDFs, each at its exact print size, with the fonts embedded and crop marks on the sheet I’d cut myself. Plus a one-page order to read off at the counter. It said ask for Chris, open till 8pm, because I’d pasted it Charlie’s message.

So for about half an hour I had two AIs working on the same problem from two ends. One making the thing. One getting the thing made. Here’s the afternoon, as it happened.

Charlie sent Chris the files, then rang him back to check he’d got them. He had. His shift finished in two hours, but he said he’d get them done, and the store was open till eight.

I rang Chris

I’ll be honest. Given how much was riding on the next morning, I didn’t fully trust it. About an hour later I rang Staples myself.

Chris exists. He had the files. He had an answer for every question I asked him about the job.

And then he said the thing I keep thinking about. ‘Oh, that was AI. I wasn’t 100% sure. I thought it was.’

Foam board in the back of the car

That evening, after some time with my kid, I drove over and picked them up. Chris had them ready. Three boards, a stack of cards and a lid for a box. The photo at the top is me in the shop, about as pleased with myself as I have ever been about some printing.

At nine the next morning they were on the wall. It was a good day. I’ll leave it there, because it was his day, not mine.

What actually happened here

Count it up. I found a tape measure, typed some messages and made one phone call I didn’t need to make. Claude designed and built everything we printed. Charlie found the shop, got past the phone tree, got a quote, sent the files and checked they’d landed.

For a couple of years this kind of thing has lived in the nerd corner. People like me running agents like OpenClaw and Hermes in a terminal, and boring our friends about it. What happened in the last month is that Meta, xAI and OpenAI took the same idea and wrapped it in something anyone can use. A name, a friendly face and your email. Plug in Vapi, like I did, and a phone number too.

I think this is AI’s App Store moment. The iPhone was amazing on its own. Then the App Store arrived, and suddenly it was everywhere. AI is about to stop being a thing you ask questions and become a thing that does things for you. In your emails, in your threads, on websites, on the phone. For everyone, from your auntie to your gran.

And the bit I can’t shake is Chris. He was lovely about it, and he got my boards done. But he wasn’t sure. Very soon a lot of the people on the other end of the line won’t be sure either.

Anyway. That’s where I’m sitting on this.

Si